In Praise Of Stay-At-Home Moms


Dr. Laura Schlessinger just released her 16th book, “In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms,” in which she unapologetically urges mothers to remain at home instead of juggle a career and motherhood. Dr. Laura, 62, recently spoke to The Wall Street Journal about her new book.

WSJ: When did you get the idea to write about this topic?

Dr. Laura: Probably about 25 years ago. I’m very open about this issue because I’ve been on both sides of this choice. For a long time, I was a career woman and that was it. I didn’t want to have a baby. But I kept feeling as if something was not there. Then one day, I was watching PBS Nova, and a one-hour program they showed on the creation of a life. I just broke down. At that time, I was 35 and had already had my tubes tied. But in that moment, I realized what was missing: this womanly part of me. So I got married, struggled a bit to get pregnant and finally made it happen after a surgery. The feeling of your baby taking nourishment from your body for the first time is amazing, and it remains the most touching moment of my life. So that was the genesis of the book — my transition into motherhood.

WSJ: You’re very insistent that mothers should stay at home as full-time moms for the sake of the child. But given our current economic crisis, is that feasible for couples who may require two salaries to make ends meet?

Dr. Laura: Of course this is a huge concern right now with money issues being so tight. But what I have discerned is that people of modest means have been able to handle what’s going on far better than people who are used to having a lot of stuff; it’s the people who put their life’s worth into products, and not people, that are probably the most shell-shocked.

One thing I’ve been happy as peach pie about — because I’m all about the children and the happiness of a woman because that makes the happiness of the home — is that nannies, day cares and babysitters are all collapsing, which is forcing moms and dads to raise their children at home. I’ve gotten a huge surge of mail and calls from people who didn’t make the choice to be at home with their kids, but are just now realizing how wonderful and beautiful it can be. A home should be more than just a place to park yourself after a frenzied day of too much work. So even though there’s less cash, people seem to be happier.

WSJ: What do you tell women who are hesitant to leave their jobs?

Dr. Laura: You know how when you try to quit smoking you chew gum? You replace one thing with another because it distracts you. What I would tell these women is that they’re spending too much time thinking about what they have to give up, and feeling angry about not being valued. Look at me — I made the transition from being a powerhouse to being at home, folding laundry. What they need to do is find value elsewhere. I tell these women to look in their children’s eyes. When your husband comes home, wrap your body around him at the door and look at his eyes. What people need to learn is that it’s not about the drudgery of housework — it’s about being at home for all of those incredible moments that make your life more valuable than the person who replaced you at work. No one can replace mom. Kids who don’t have moms suffer a lifetime.

“I have been attacked incessantly for supposed hypocrisy concerning this issue of child care; I couldn’t possibly have done all the things required of my career without neglecting my son. Well, those critics are just plain wrong”
Read an excerpt from “In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms”

WSJ: What questions should working mothers ask themselves when deciding whether to quit their jobs and become stay-at-home mothers?

Dr. Laura: The nut questions should be: Do I feel fulfilled as a woman? Do I feel like my husband’s girlfriend? Do I feel like I have touched the soul of my kids? Those will help you decide.

WSJ: Where do stay-at-home dads fit into the picture?

Dr. Laura: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom — unless she’s incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

WSJ: At what point do you advise mothers to go back to work?

Dr. Laura: The answer is never. One woman asked me the other day when I think mothers should be home, and I told her, “Whenever your kid is at home.” When [my son] Deryk started kindergarten, it was from 8 to 3. So I arranged to be on the air from 11 to 2. That was it. He always had a mom. Quite frankly, my mom was one of the least warm mommies out there. Nonetheless, when I came home from school, she was always there and it made me feel safe.

WSJ: What about the women who can’t choose their hours?

Dr. Laura: Well, everyone’s capable of it. For everything in life, you have to make a priority list. This must be done. If we truly believe in something and cherish it, we find a way to make it happen. Women go from making seven-figure salaries to staying at home, and things just start to be less important. I remember once our house burned down, and another time there was an earthquake in L.A. and I’ll tell you, this family [of mine] never had so much fun. My kid was still little so we played “Sorry” and card games and laughed and giggled and told stories — none of which costs money. Families across the nation are starting to discover that it’s the smallest things in life that make you smile. You don’t have to work 9 to 7. If your priority is to raise your child, it’s not just a matter of making sure they don’t get killed or have food to eat. The question is, “Do you want them to learn what’s moral and of value from your perspective?”

WSJ: Do you think it’s possible for a working mother to raise a smart, successful child?

Dr. Laura: I didn’t write this book about working moms. I wrote it in praise of stay-at-home moms. It’s a wonderful choice, but to be absolutely truthful, having been on both sides of this mentality, my heart hurts for what these women miss and what their children miss from them. No argument, no criticism. My heart just hurts — because when you get those pudgy arms around your neck, and being told you’re someone’s lullaby — the fact that a woman would miss that is so, so sad.




  1. alison says

    Look. If you are working and like it, just admit it, and move on. I think the thing that gets to SAHMs is the working moms who act like life would end for their families if they didn’t work full time. I think that is untrue in 95% of familes. SAHMs DO deserve credit for the self-sacrifice of staying home. It IS hard. But we choose it because it is the RIGHT thing to do by our children. It is the RESPONSIBLE thing to do once you have kids. Those choices aren’t always the easy ones to make. It’s kind of like this: When you are doing the right thing, you just know it, and no one can make you feel guilty b/c there’s no guilt to be had. When you are making a morally or ethically questionable choice, not only will there be guilt, but you tend to try and surround yourself with people who are also making those same mistakes. It makes you feel better, more accepted. “Right” in your choice. But the guilt is there, not b/c SAHMs are “making” you feel guilty, but b/c you SHOULD feel guilty. I would feel guilty too, if I allowed someone else to raise my 3 year old for 10 hours a day.

  2. Kim says

    I am a SAHM that homeschools. I will speak on behalf of all the SANE mothers that make the choice to stay home. This world is not black and white as another mother said. What is right for one person may not be right for another. There are moms that HAVE to work out there. Dr. Laura is not a good rolemodel to be looking at to tell us who should and should not be staying home. I don’t think there is anyone that has all the right answers. I DO think that if mothers have the choice to stay home with their babies, that they will receive many blessings for making the choice. Kids are only young once. At the same time, I’m not going to make it my business to tear down all the working moms on here when a lot of them really wish they could be home. I’m sure they are excellent moms too. The person on here that’s being so vile…I do not give merit to anything she has to say and I think she has a lot of mental/emotional issues that she needs to deal with. We moms should be unifying…we do the best we can do. There shouldn’t be sides.

  3. Jenny says

    My husband and I are very conservative Christians who have been together for over ten wonderful years and we are now ready to start a family. Being a mom is something that I have always dreamed about and now that my hubby and I are ready, I find myself torn on the decision of whether or not to be a SAHM.

    My Hubby is very supportive of whatever choice. The only thing is that if I decide to stay home, then he will definitely have to work two jobs. He and I live simply and are very humble in our lifestyle, providing ourselves with only the most basic needs, so the issue of my working outside the home just so that we can have all sorts of extravagant things wouldn’t be valid.

    My concern is that I want our future children to be able to enjoy having both of his or her parents around and participating in his/her upbringing. If I stay home all day, then my husband will have to be away all day. I love my husband and we are a team. I don’t want him to miss out on raising his children either. He and I were both raised in SAHM families, so we would love to do the same. The only thing is that when we look back on our childhoods, although we absolutely loved having our moms at home with us, we really missed having our wonderful hardworking fathers at home with us as well. Usually, we would see our Dads at dinnertime and then it would be time for us to go to bed.

    I’d love to hear honest and MATURE viewpoints and perspectives from both sides, but I’ve just realized from reading only a few of these posts, that I won’t find it here on this board.

    Best wishes to all you moms…whatever path you decide to choose.

    God Bless!

  4. Analise says

    I’m not going to read through 103 posts, but I can say the first 5 posts alone told me enough where this thread would likely go. Especially MEG showing her idiocy as usual.

    Stay at home Mom’s have been looked down upon for decades. I remember seeing people turn their noses up at my Mother because she chose to put work outside the home on hold to be with us. Unfortunately, not much has changed in 30 years because I get snide comments about my choice to stay home as well. It’s not anyone’s business how I raise my child and I’ll do everyone else a favor and stay the hell out of their lives, too.

  5. dsb says

    I listened to about 2 min of this woman’s radio show several years ago and didn’t like her. Now I see this headline and see I haven’t missed anything. She is still aggressive and annoying.

  6. Liz says

    How enlightening. A classic case of people judging and directing other becasue of their own failures and shortcomings.

  7. KristinaI says

    I have a 16-month-olod son. Until recently, I provided childcare for another little boy about my son’s age. This little boy spent more of his waking hours with me than he did with his parents. Monday through Friday, I spent the first 9 hours with him, and his parents spent the last few hours with him before bedtime. I was the one who danced with him, played with him with the toys that his parents bought for him, changed most of his diapers, and fed him most of his meals. Sometimes I found myself keeping his new discoveries to myself, so that the parents could think that they were the first to experience these things with him. It broke my heart to inform the parents, “He can do [fill in the blank]….now.” Many mothers have to work, but I am so thankful that I do not miss out on these precious hours with my son.

  8. Laura says

    Schlessinger was raised in a family that she described as dysfunctional, unhappy, and “difficult.” Born in Brooklyn, NY, she received her B.S. in Biological Sciences from the State University of New York at Stony Brook and, eventually, her Ph.D. in Physiology from Columbia University. Married at the age of 25, Dr. Laura has an unusually sordid marital history for someone who berates her callers and listeners for what she sees as unacceptable moral failings in their own personal lives. After a rocky marriage, and several extramarital affairs, Dr. Laura relocated to Los Angeles, where she became a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor at the University of Southern California. While still married to her first husband, Dr. Laura apparently began a nine-year affair with Lewis G. Bishop, a professor of neuro-physiology and married father of three, before finally marrying in 1985. On October 19, 1998, Dr. Laura’s own promiscuity, in the form of her affair with Bill Ballance, came back to haunt her when a dozen nude photos appeared on Internet Entertainment Group’s website, ClubLove. The photos, which Ballance sold to IEG, were equipped with “Live Picture Technology,” to enable users to zoom in on specific body parts. Dr. Laura filed a lawsuit against Ballance, which she eventually dropped when she was unable to get an injunction to keep the pictures off the Internet. AND THIS woman is telling other women how to run their own families? NO, my heart goes out to HER. God forgive you Laura.

  9. Cocoa says

    I can’t help but agree, the comments on here are atrocious! Like someone already said, I cannot believe these are mothers talking this way! What are their children learning? Hopefully not all this hatred!

  10. Jamie says

    WOW! Some of you are darn right nasty on here…relax! Calling people whores for having babies is absolutely DISUSTING first off, and second number 10….I have a job EXACTLY like number 9. We work together and 100% get enough days and time to leave to be with our kids. I have a 1 year old in daycare while I work. Not only is it the greatest thing because he LOVES it and has learned soooo much and loves his friends there, but also I get to go to all the school’s events like breakfasts, shows, etc… Just because you aren’t comfortable in your own life/choices does not mean you have any right to insult anyone else. I made the right choice for my family and am not lying as you so wrongly accused my friend. Our jobs give us the same days off as our kids including winter, spring and summer breaks. Yes I also get to take time whenever I need to. My son’s daycare’s power went out on Monday and I left and got him and went home for the rest of the day. I imagine this author and this site are here for people to help each other and maybe give advice etc not insult and be nasty. So you number 10 who thinks you are a perfect mom, do you see what you are teaching your kid??? Good job, mom of the year to you

  11. Yecenia says

    Hi # 10 this is #9 and yes I am saying that I can put off work to be there for my son. Since you felt it was appropriate to insult me without even knowing me I felt I should respond. First of all I am not a “poor excuse for a parent,” not only do I work but come home from work and devote my time to my son. We still go to playgrounds, do mom groups, and still have time for homework and dinner as a family. I have Christmas break, spring break, and summer’s off not to mention a myriad of other days off. My schedule is the same exact schedule as my son’s school schedule. I can take time off to attend school events. So I don’t know who gave you the right to be so judgemental. I did not judge any SAHM. I believe that being a mom,period, is the toughest and most important job in the world. I was simply stating that working moms can find the right balance.

    P.S. I am married and did not get “knocked up.” He was a planned and wanted pregnancy and he is the best thing that could ever have happened to me. So do all of us a favor and keep your assanine comments to yourself. Stop being so brash and horrible. So much for sisterhood.

  12. N says

    I work during the day and dad works second shift. During the day our son is at home with dad and in the evening he is with me. Granted me and hubby only see each other for extended periods on the weekend but it works for us.

  13. SusanJD says

    Staying at home and taking care of your children is a woman’s job. Who can comfort a child better than the child’s own mother? Why would you allow other’s to know your children better than you do? It is beyond my understanding how anyone could or want to do this. If you have to in order to survive that is one thing, if you choose to do it, that is CRAZY. If a mother has another job, she out-sources her most important job and title to someone else, most of the time to uneducated, overworked day care employees.

  14. Mary says

    Ladies, she has won. She has generated BUZZ for her latest book. Why can’t we present a unified force as “mothers.” We are not working mothers or stay at home mothers, we are simply mommies. We love our children and they love us. And, we do the best that we can with what we have. Some of us won’t be able to feed those babies if we don’t work, especially in these economic times. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and refuse to take a side here, because there are no sides… we are one, “mothers.” And I have three beautiful well adjusted children to show for my work in the office and at home. Let’s not fuel this fire anymore.

  15. Karen says

    It’s really pretty simple, isn’t it. A happy mother has a happy child. I am the daughter of a career woman and I didn’t miss out on any thing. In fact, I learned to be independent and self-reliant. I was exposed to more children at an early age so learned coping, sharing and language skills earlier than most. I would have hated to have a mom who stayed home and didn’t teach me by example of all that a woman could be. And by the way, my grandmother had a career, too. I couldn’t be more proud of the women in my family.

  16. BRANDY says


  17. Nasty Women says

    I am so disgusted that there are so many nasty, mean spiteful women on here attacking one another.

    Mothers should support each other, not tear each other apart.

    Some people can stay home, some have to work. We are striving to be a gender equal society and I don’t think men have to be the sole provider.

    I’m a single working mom to two kids and I don’t think I’m a poor excuse as #10 states.
    I take off work for school events and field trips. My children go to a good private school where thay are in the top of their class as well as national testing rankings. They have a very supportive extended family unit that is there to support them and provide assistance.
    I would love to have a “complete” family unit, but that’s not how it worked out. I love their father to death and would love to have him back in our household. But, sometimes that doesn’t work out. After 10 years and two kids he decided that’s not what he wanted.

    Women can not force their families to stay together and I don’t blame them. I’m the one working and providing for the kids while he enjoys his dogs and freedom…why don’t we attack that instead of the fact that I work 40 hours a week to provide my children with the most stable life possible.

  18. Shawn says

    I would love to be a stay at home mom. I work so that we can have insurance., and groceries..which are kind of a necessity. I do feel that I am blessed because my aunt takes care of my daughter 3 days a week and grandma has her the other 2. I am also lucky enough to teach and get 3 months off in the summer so that I can be a SAHM for those 3 months. My daughter is healthy and well adjusted and I feel good about my situation and cherish every moment we do spend together.

  19. Tarra Spiner says

    I stay home and I wanted to stay home because work sucks! Why would you want to work if you had the option not to. Why do so many people try to get rich and buy lottery tickets? Isn’t so they don’t have to have a job? Face it working with a bunch of strangers sucks, especially if you have a job working with the general public.

  20. traveler says


    I agree with you 100%. Two working parents are better than the father having to have 2 jobs. My grandfather had to work two jobs while my dad was a child and my dad feels he lost out on a lot. He said he’d have rather had my grandmother work, so that he would’ve had the chance to have a relationship with his father. It upsets him that he didn’t get to do all the father/son stuff that most kids got to do with their dads. I would never let my husband work two jobs and be a stranger to his kids, just so that I can stay at home.

    I wouldn’t pay to much attention to the people on here spewing hatred. They’re probably bored teenagers stirring stuff up just to have something entertaining to do. If you ignore them, they’ll get tired of the whole thing and leave.

  21. Question says

    Do people really think that moms work to get the newist LV bag? or desigher clothes? Most moms work to be able to feed their children, and let them have a roof over their heads. IF I could just give up buying something like that so easily, believe me I would stay home, but in order for my family to not live in poverty, either I have to work, or my husband would have to work two jobs and never see any of us, and I truly believe that my working is better for my family then an absent father.

  22. nnm2 says

    After being on both sides of the fence myself, it seems to be those who bash SAHM’s do so out of guilt. I don’t personally bash anyone, but I have a strong preference for what “I” think is developmentally preferrable.

    Go ahead, throw stones at me, but I’ll tell you one thing, I’d live in a tent before I let a stranger take care of my child for 9-10 hours a day.

    The child who comes from our body needs US, not a “nanny” or daycare center to care for it. It is the mother who should be there for every need & milestone. The look on your baby’s face while they are breastfeeding or when you just hold them is pricess.

    No career, car, Louis Vuitton or other material belonging can replace it, period. I’d love the newest Juicy shoe or LV bag as much as the next gal, but my baby(s) are much more important.

    I’m going back into my corner now.

  23. ?? says

    #85 I believe this site is for anyone and Purplelionlily made a lot more sense, with a lot more maturity than half the morons on this site….including you!

  24. Purplelionlily says

    Not many mothers have the opportunity to stay at home, and being that my mother works I’ve never complained once. It’s actually taught me that I don’t have to rely on others to provide for myself. I see my mother everyday, get the quality time I need just like any child would with a mother who doesn’t work. And I’m not “off”.

    For those who are bashing working mothers, do you honestly think it’s so easy for them to do that? No. But if my mom has to work in order to make sure that I have a roof over my head and food on the table, then so be it.

  25. almalm says

    I enjoy listening to Dr. Laura and the mostly brain-dead callers to her radio show. I don’t agree with most of what she says. Sure she was able to stay home because she makes MILLIONS of dollars. Most families, especially now, are struggling financially. Why should a woman go to college and even get a Masters Degree or PhD and then stay home all day? I can understand if it is a baby, but once the kid is in Kindergarten or 1st grade, I see nothing wrong with a working mother. Check out Dr. Laura’s nude photos on the net.

  26. wt says

    Sounds like Cindy and Carleigh are the same person….just with multiple personalities fighting with herself!

    Ha, ha, what two stupid uneducated c_u_n_t_s!!!!

    SAHMs rule! Cindy and Carleigh suck ballz!!!

  27. Cindy says

    Actually #72 is right. I am going to do the same…this place is messed. Just Jared is a much better site…people are still rude, but nothing like this.

    So, say whatever more you want you ridiculous, low-life, scumbag (Carleigh) and your demented followers, you will get the last word. I am done!

  28. Cindy says

    I see I get under your skin….hahaha. Regardless, anyone reading your comment knows full well what you meant about the “electrical” devices, you aren’t fooling anyone. Just like Oriana, you sure know how to show someone you don’t care what they think….however, in case it’s true (which I doubt) it’s a good thing you don’t care because anyone of intelligence won’t think much of you after reading the things you say. You really need to grow up.

  29. carleigh says

    Just like you to be a sick-minded idiot B*TCH you are….go stick your head in a commode and proceed to flush many, many times.

  30. carleigh says

    Electrical things are plugged into WALLS, the devices you are referring to are battery operated.

  31. carleigh says

    Cindy, my dear mistaken Cindy….”ELECTRICAL” devices are things that are NOT plugged into a wall you stupid f*ck. You on the other hand are thinking of something that operates with batteries, which if you have one of those particular devices in YOUR home, I highly recommend you stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.

    I have nothing to prove to anyone on here and stand by my comments. And if I appear to be “stupid” in your eyes Cindy, well since your about as dumb as they come, I consider that to be a compliment coming from the likes of you. Becase you my dear are NO brain trust yourself.

    I am not totally convinced either that our dear little Cindy “IT” person is not the one posting all these negative, nasty, narrow minded comments designed to insite anger…..since she’s so desperate for attention I wouldn’t put it past her one bit.

    Cindy, go play in traffic or better yet take a long walk off a short cliff…do the world and the world a favor, find better things to do.

  32. allrighthere says

    For the record:

    I am not a HS dropout: I am college educated!

    I have lived in SEVERAL countries, and carry 2 citizenships so don’t lecture me about ‘getting out there’, because I have seen more of the world than most

    How sad that children are being raised by women who say and mean the horrid things that are being expressed on this page.

    Signing out and will never comment here again. It’s too absurd.

  33. Cindy says

    As well, I have just educated myself on what “blog trolls” are and you (Carleigh) fit the description way more than I do…I am sure most would agree. You have got to be one of the most offensive people I have ever come across, and I see I am not the only one who thinks so.

  34. Cindy says

    Carleigh – you are really making yourself look stupid, it was pretty clear what you meant about “electical devices”. Perhaps you should re-read your own comments before you try to pretend to mean something else.

    Too bad you have had it with me because I am not going anywhere. By the way, no one asked you either, or anyone else here for that matter….remember, that’s the beauty of blogging. Practise what you preach, you degenerate!

  35. carleigh says

    By the way isn’t Michael Jackson considered a stay-at-home parent???? And we see just how well he does…..90% of the people on this board are trolls and just plain stupid..especially CINDY

  36. carleigh says

    I was married for over 10 years…re-read my post or maybe you have a problem with reading comprehension.. Uh—maybe you do. I have no clue.

    I work from home jack*ss, re-read that portion. I never said I needed your money, but what I did say stupid was since you are so passionately concerned about whether or not woman stays home or works, why don’t you donate your money to single mothers so they can do what you recommend.

    As for being debt-free…well then you should have more than enough extra money to donate to childrens charities to raise the quality of life of the children whose parents have to work to survive.

    SO, unless you want to pay the bills of some single women, don’t come on here spouting off your stupidity and rhetoric, like the clueless dolt you appear to be.

    Cindy….you can just STFU…I’ve had it with your stupidity too. Nobody asked you B*TCH!!! Yeah I have electrical devices in my home dumb*ss they are called a vaccuum, blender, toaster, cordless phone, toaster oven, hair dryer etc, etc. Leave it up to a sh*t stirring B&TCH like you to read something filthy into what was meant to be the complete opposite…you are purely worthless and have nothing substansial to add to anything whatsoever.

    And to whomever the charming poster might be who is slagging off women…go take Cindy into a dark alley and maybe you both might get lucky!!!

  37. Granny says

    Lots of children, lots of us here, were not planned. Birth control just goes wrong at times – married, engaged, dating and already having your family established. In a lot of these cases some of our dearest people, children, would need to be aborted to prevent them from having working mothers. I say let mothers work. Live, breathing, loved children are worth having in trade for a day at the office.

    And right, who says only mothers can nurture? How about fathers and other loving parents. That is what a happy, healthy child needs. Nuture does not have to mean hovering.

  38. Cindy says

    PS: To allrighthere #63 – The last paragraph of your too long comment (the only paragraph I read) hit it right on the nail. That is what it all boils down to….and people here just suck! So mean…

  39. Cindy says

    Wow, people’s comments are soooo long. I bet most don’t even read them all (like me), but as long as it makes you feel good writing them, I guess.

    To Carleigh…You call me a low-life? HA! Only the lowest of low life’s would talk about the possibilites of having “electrical devices” in their home no matter what some other low-life said to you about it. Have a little class!

  40. allrightthere dropped out in highschool says

    If you’re too stupid to plan for the unexpected, then you should not be allowed to have children.

    Even in this economy, with whatever pathetic medical excuse you give, there are ways to be SAHMs.

    The right way is black and white. Traveling outside of the neighborhood and park (pathetic) has nothing to do with it. Perhaps you need to travel around the world (which I’m sure you’ve never done). And, visit other self sustaining cultures where the women never work. And, by the way, I dare anyone of you pathetic working c_u_n_t_s to pull out some legitament statics that say that children of working moms are off.

    Oh, and for the dyke that made the octomom refernce. PLEASE!!!! That wack job should have been aborted herself. People tell her to get a job? No, people tell her to give up her kids. Octomom is as pathetic as the working douchebag that made the comment about her.

  41. allrighthere says

    And people wonder why there’s war in the world? I’m shocked at what I’m reading. How women – mothers – can attack each other in this way is unbelievable, and horrible. It just plain makes me sad!

    All of you who are raking working mothers over hot coals… what kind of values are you teaching your children? Certainly not RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING. The world just isn’t that black and white! And if you think so then you need to get out of the house and see a little more than the 4 walls of your home and the local park… I don’t mean that in a degrading way at all against SAHM’s, because I absolutely respect women who have made the decision to stay home. However I find it hard to respect any woman – working or not – who is as disrespectful, unkind, and as full of venom as I see represented here.

    I was a SAHM and then circumstances (medical, financial) resulted in me having to return to the workforce. I was, and am still, in a loving relationship with my husband. And, GASP, am now a working mother. Some of you say that means that I am NOT a real mother? Wow. (Oh and for those of you screaming about closing your legs – my husband is the only one I’ve ever slept with so shut your mouths about morality where I’m concerned). Our intention was for me to stay home, and I did for 4yrs – then things out of our control changed our plans.

    I cried when I dropped my children off at daycare the first few days – and the I started seeing something that amazed me: My children LOVED going to pre-school/daycare. They were surrounded by wonderful people who have college educations (aiaiaiai – lots more working mothers!) and who use their hard earned knowledge to make my children happier, wiser, and more well-rounded.

    My husband and I balance our schedules so that our children need as little before and after school programs as possible during the day – and guess what: My oldest daughter (7) actually complains that we drop her off at 8:30am when class starts instead of when child-care starts at 7:30! She LOVES child-care. Again – the people who work there are wonderful, educated people who put their all into creating a great environment for my kids when I’m at work.

    Another shocker: I found that I truly ENJOYED being back at work. My husband and I have more to talk about at the end of the day, our children are happy, intelligent, well-adjusted, well-taught, fun, silly, kids who KNOW who their parents are. We spend TONS of quality time with our kids!

    My kids are RESPECTFUL, and UNDERSTANDING! They are kind, good, loving, and thoroughly enchanting!

    Oh – and both of my own parents worked! I have no bad memories of that. Just like my parents, my husband and I make a point of ALWAYS being there for events, recitals, etc.

    At the end of the day – working or not – we are ALL mothers! We ALL love our children, and we ALL want the best for them. We may not agree 100% on how to do it, but we can certainly be decent enough human beings to respect each other, and offer our opinions without attacking each other with vicious and vile commentary!

  42. daycarecenters says

    It is way too easy to stick a child in daycare while a woman goes off and pursues a career.

    It is pathetic for any mom to say that a daycare or provider is a better supplement to a mother’s love and care.

    Daycare centers pay the employs squat. Turn over is high. Illness is plentiful. Learning? Ha! If you count children sitting infront of a TV watching Seasame Street learning, then I guess you’re right.

    What is wrong with society? Why wouldn’t a mom want to stay home with her children? It’s just beyond me the selfishness I see on here from working moms.

  43. traveler says

    Why does the mom have to be the stay at home parent? Why can’t the dad be one? That’s the case in my situation. I make about twice what my soon to be husband makes. When we do have children, we’ve decided it would make more sense for him to stay at home and me to work. We couldn’t possibly make it on his salary alone, but we can slide by on only my salary. Sure, it’s not “traditional”, but it’s what works for us.

    My point being, whatever works for you family, than that’s what you do. Whether it be both parents working or only one parent working. What’s right for my family may not be right for my next door neighbor’s family. We’re all different and we’ll all make different choices and decisions. Why tear each other up over it?

  44. carleigh says

    Oh and just to point out….our President was raised by a SINGLE MOTHER and looks like he turned out to be okay and didn’t suffer from any ill-effects or neglect. In fact he had a very loving relationship with his mother and grandmother.

    Children will find the nurturing and support they NEED only if the people around them provide it. There are some examples of SAHM who do not want to be there and wind up miserable and making their kids miserable…there is no happy medium

    Think about Octomom…people whine about how she needs to get a job and how she has been leeching off the taxpayers of Calfornia and then there is the flipside of that situation as well. She goes to work and all 14 of the kids suffer, right??? This is the way you are talking.

    Please read up on the information and statistics before you come on here making an idiot of yourself.

  45. carleigh says


    I said at ONE point in time I had gone back into the work force and left my child with a care-giver. I didn’t say how long or anything else…but you go ahead and read on and interpret it in your idiot brain any way you want stupid.

    I am a SAHM…reread the entire post dip SH*T…..and as far as my monetary situation is concerned….if you are so inclined and concern with the plight of single mothers, leave your personal information and credit card number here and I’ll personally make sure we take and even split every last dime you have….and thank you for your concern, most appreciated.

    Now on to what does or does not go in within the sanctity of my bedroom…..whose to say I don’t have electrical devices in my house….maybe I do and maybe I don’t, but that has nothing to do with you and I’d rather spend an hour of time withmyself than to ever spend it with a narrow-minded, nasty tempered cretin like you.

    so in the words of my fellow ladies from the UK…you can do this:

    Bugger off
    P*SS OFF

  46. Arianna's Mummy says

    Oh, so 44, and 45, I shouldn’t have had sex with my husband? Okay then. First, the idea was we did not want children right then, I had just finished school, we were planning on having children later, or at least that is what he said he wanted, and I agreed. When things didn’t go as planned, he bailed. Yeah, maybe I married the wrong guy, but there was no way to see that coming.

    Here is what I see, either you are a teenager trying to stir up trouble, or you are a nasty judgemental person who thinks they are better than everyone else. Either way hopefully some day you will get a reality check.

  47. ^ Guilt Much? says

    I am a SAHM. I don’t shove my principles down anyone’s throats. I could care less what anyone else does. If they are happy, great. If you feel like people are forcing their beliefs on you, that’s probably your conscience talking.

    I personally would never pay another person to raise my child, but that’s just me. If working makes you fulfilled in a way that motherhood doesn’t, then good for you. Follow your bliss.

  48. SbK says

    Why can’t people stop saying that there is a right and wrong with this, I think that everyone is individual and you should do what is best for you and your child, and if thats being a sahm or a working mother then it’s fine. I agree with V. From what I have read on here, SAHM’s seem to be trying to shove their principles and beliefs down everybody’s throats.

  49. Kristy K says

    People!! It’s so pathetically obvious how much better it is for MOMs to be at home then working!!! Look at how much better society and the world was 50 + years ago….when people still had values/morals and mothers and fathers were committed to ingraining these into their children. These days it’s all about what feels good for ME….not about what’s the greater good for your family (first of all), and others. We are such a selfish, immoral society – the whole world’s “going to hell in a handbasket.”

  50. MiracleMileMom says

    You people are horrible. So unless your husband dies….. there is no excuse for being a single mother? If your husband decides to screw the intern at work because you are on bedrest, pregnant with his child… you should just forgive him, right?? After all, he’s a man, he has needs….. oh wait – just because you can’t have intercoiurse, you still have hands and a mouth, right? Because that’s what a good wife and mother would do….. gotta keep the man happy at all costs, so you can be a SAHM? Or wait – you should just allow him his affair, because that’s “working” on your marriage?
    And when he leaves you in the hospital to go meet his mistress….. well any GOOD mother would just look the other way, right, because to respect yourself and say NO – I won’t tolerate this behavior and disrespect – well that makes a bad and selfish woman because leaving her husband would mean she has to work and GASP – put her child in daycare??

    Gosh, I wish Dr. Laura and you wonderful woman would have entered my life before I left the abusive, cheating, SOB. I should have just stayed with him and continued to be a SAHM. What a wonderful example that would have set for my child…….. honey, once you are pregnant, he can treat you however he wants, it’s your duty as a mother to look the other way and allow yourself to be abused in order to stay at home.

    And here I thought I was setting a good example by leaving him and showing my daughter she needs to resepect herself and now allow a man to hurt and disrespect her. I thought I was teaching her to never let a man tell her she was nothing without him. I thought I was teaching her that a woman can take care of herself if she has to and flousih and raise a wonderful child and have a happy life, be a productive member of her community and church and child’s school……..

    How silly of me. Well…. it might not be too late. His current wife called not to long ago, crying aboiut how he’s become a monster and isn’t at all the man she thought she married. So maybe he’ll be single soon and we can get back together and I can bea SAHM…

  51. SuzieP II says

    What is the reason behind all of this division!?! Because one woman wrote a book on a topic that has been around for years? All this fuss about nothing! Stop fighting amongst yourselves and take this for what is really is another author trying to sell a book- we all make choices and some of them are hard, not everyone chooses to be a single mom (it can happen to anyone) and believe it or not some moms have to work, if you are lucky enough to stay home with your kids- cool! Whatever works for you…but why call each other names?

  52. V says

    I couldn’t even read through all these comments because many are just hurtful. I agree if a woman has a choice to be a stay at home mom it is a good thing. I have 3 children 5, 3 & 9 months and do not have a choice. I thankfully only work 20 hrs a week and yes I HAVE to work for the money! We have a mortgage and a car payment and need to put food on the table for 5 people! I am a wonderful mother and my kids are my #1 priority.

    As I am typing this I realize that I am wrong I do have a choice. My choice is my family, all of it! I am sure we could financially make it if I did not work, but then my husband would have to pick up the slack. We live pay check to pay check and live a very minimalistic lifestyle.

    I envy some of my friends that stay at home until they are complaining that their husbands work 80 hrs a week and never see the kids. My husband and I are a team and if me working allows us time to be a family then that is more important to me. I hate that I have to work, but I would also hate having my childrens FATHER not be able to have dinner with us or read to our kids at night because he has to work 2 jobs!

    So I guess I am choosing to work, not because I want to or am career driven in any way. But this was the best choice for my FAMILY and therefore a good choice for my children!

  53. R U Serious says

    #45 & #46
    I am praying to God that you are not a mother, because I feel so sorry for your child(ren) if you are. I mean, what kind of mother spews such hateful things? I believe that you are either a teenager with too much time on your hands or you have some serious mental issues. If your views come from you being a Christian….then you are not much of a Christian, as we are not supposed to judge others. Personally, I think you are just trying to stir things up, in which case you have a very sad life and I feel sorry for you.

  54. Granny says

    This sense of absolutism – that all mothers should be home period – reminds me of other absolutes. Such as blondes are dumb, women aren’t smart, inferiority between races, men deserve more pay than women and many others just don’t cut it. There are no absoutes. At least Dr. L states that after age three it is a coin toss.

    My mother was a SAHM and I just remember resenting it mostly. She stayed home while we were at school and therefore we didn’t have the extra cash for trips, lessons, church camp, joining pep-club because of uniform and membership fees and other things. I resented as a kid not getting to be like the other kids and their families because we didnt’ have the income and yet we could have had some of it. And she had a beauticians license. She felt that she needed to be home even though we were in school. Only thing we kids got out of it was dinner was always cooked at home. She got soaps and coffee clubs.

    It was her call to make, and she made it. But I don’t think that it was particularly the best. I would have rather had her income and enjoyed my childhood more because of it.

  55. Adele (UK) says

    I’m a SAHM to my 2 children, my fiance works full time. I chose to be a SAHM because I don’t want to miss out on my children in their early years. My oldest child has been in school for 2 years, but my youngest doesn’t start full time school until September 2011 & then I will get a job part time to fit in with the school hours.

    I want to be the one who takes them to school & picks them up, so I won’t be missing out at all. I will be bringing an extra income into my family to spoil my children even more than they already are.

    I applaud parents of those children who are younger than school age because I couldn’t leave my children at such a young age.

    I think all Mother’s whether stay at home or working should be applauded because we all give our children what we think is the best life possible.

  56. Karen says

    to be honest, ive attended some parties since having my daughter and sometimes when the word gets out im still on leave from my job i become invisible. im all for a good balance.

  57. Arianna's Mummy says

    What a bunch of self rightgeous B@*#*s on here! Number 15 most of all!

    I have been a single mom as well, who had to work to feed my beautiful daughter, and it is not like I choose to be one! When I told her father I was pregnate (we were using protection, both the pill and condoms plus I have pcos) he told me to have an abortion, when I refused, he left.

    So exactly who should have supported me and my daughter? She thrives at daycare, and they provide for her stimulation and education, meanwhile I can provide what she needs physically and when she is not at daycare or sleeping I spend every moment with her, she is missing nothing emotionally.

    So get off your high horse and hope to God that Karma for your self rightgeous ways doesn’t come and kick you in the A$$

  58. carleigh says

    Hi Ladies, well most of you are ladies I’d like to assume, unless we have a male in disguise trying to stir up arguements and discord in this little forum.

    What I’d like to say in regards to this particular topic..remember ladies, this woman is swathed in controversy and she like to stir it up too!

    I have been married and am now divorced. I went into the work force as a necessity and to enable me to feed my children. This is a very real option and most women do not have the advantage of being a SAHM, especially given the current state of the economy.

    Now, I left my f/t position with a Fortune 500 health care company. I have returned to school and am working steadily towards a degree in health care, on the opposite side of what I was doing previously.

    I work from home…funny how this topic never came up. I am at home 24/7, unless my daughters are on a visitation with their father. I am able to be here to enjoy the day with my youngest, read her stories, take her to the park and anything else because I do have an open schedule during spring and summer breaks.

    I am also a freelance writer and photographer, which has allowed me to be self-supportive while attending school and the money I’ve made has also allowed me to buy my first home.

    I am fortunate for everything I have and feel that I have the best of both worlds. I have been able to do most of my gen education credits online, with an occasional Saturday class, at which time my younger daughter visits with my parents for a few hours and I come home.

    Bottom line, any woman, whether she works inside or outside the home…each hat we wear is important. We show our kids through example that we try to better ourselves, we set goals and we strive to achieve. I am giving my daughters the best life we can possibly have and have thought out the entire scenario to make sure transitions would not be difficult.

    Anyone on here who has slagged off on a working mother can BITE me. Unless you have been there to look into the face of your baby and had to walk out the door of a sitter or daycare in a flood of tears….knowing if they don’t go to work the family doesn’t eat, you should not pass judgment.

    What works for one person never works for everyone and it won’t because we are all unique. This is why we should show each other some respect and understanding. Why would you deliberately want to judge a fellow woman or knock her for her choices.

    Kathy Bates said it best in a movie once…”We are women, our choices are never easy”…but we do what we have to do for our family and kids..bottom line.

  59. nosoupforyou says

    I don’t have to work….. I love to work.

    I didn’t get “knocked up” either. I’m married with two sons.

    I loved staying home when they were infants and then it was on to pre-school and back to work.

    I have a graduate degree and a very fulfilling career. I am a social worker. I love being a social worker. It is part of who I am and my sons are better for it.

  60. R U Serious says

    I don’t comment very often, but some of the comments on here ticked me off. You people who are bashing working moms, need to worry about your own lives and parenting your own kids and quit judging the rest of us. You do not know us, you know nothing about our lives. So to say that those of us who have to work (or choose to work) are horrible mothers, is nothing short of ignorant. You say that because a woman gets divorced, she is a bad mother who wasn’t committed to her marriage? Excuse me? So, if a woman is mistreated (whether it’s physically or mentally) or cheated on….she should just put up with it? I am a working mom, who works because I have to. Everyday (especially when my son was little) I feel guilty that I have to work and can’t be there for him all the time. But you know what? I am there whenever he needs me. I stay up with him all night when he is sick, and when he was a baby, I spent every free second with him….playing with him, hugging him, teaching him. I chaperone one field trip every year, with my husband chaperoning the other one. I fix him breakfast every morning, pack a healthy lunch for him everyday, and we sit down to dinner together every night (except on Thursday’s when he has his music lesson). I am very loving towards him, but put my foot down with him when he messes up. He is a bright, happy, well adjusted kid who knows right from wrong. I am a very good mom and nobody is going to tell me otherwise. And no offense, but to say that all working moms are bad moms, makes about as much sense as saying that all stay at home moms are great moms.

  61. QTPIE81 says

    Well, I only read through comment 17 before becoming really angry. It’s so nice to see (as usual) a group of women tearing each other up. Choices aren’t one size fits all. I love my daughters to pieces, but feel that I am a better mother because I work outside of the home. I am not cut out for being a SAHM. Does that mean that I think SAHMs are inferior to me? Absolutely not! If children feel secure, loved and are being properly educated and cared for, why does it matter if mom stays at home or works? It’s sad how the choices we make as parents (or just individuals in general) cause us to tear each other up. As if there’s ever a single decision that is right for EVERYONE?!?!?! Mothers should be supporting each other – whether they stay at home or work.

  62. says

    Hi fellow mommy,

    This is a very informative post. I’m also a mother of a 14-month old baby and I blog regularly about baby care tips and my experiences raising him.

    The link address is Raising Daniel.

    Thank you.


  63. Gwen says

    What kind of message is it to your sons and daughters to think that having kids means giving up everything you’ve encouraged them to work for. What do you tell your daughters they will do with all those great college educations, piano lessons and skills they will acquire growing up? Will you tell your sons to choose a mate who will only be a good mother if she stays home full time with the kids?
    I work part time and have altered my work situation to maximise time with my son yet still benefit from my undeniable need for the stimulation work brings not to mention the extra income. Being a mother has made me a more effective and efficient employee. Being a worker has made me a happier and more relaxed mother. My son loves his little daycare/preschool and is way better off for the 20 hours / wk he spends there. The rest of the time he is with his mum and dad, Not everyone needs the stimulation of working and thats fine but some women do. Do you really think they should sacrifice motherhood and would you ask that of your daughter? Most of the women I know who have chosen to stay home full time never really liked what they did in the first place and no one ever seems to talk about that. I busted my butt and took a lot of risks for find a career that is fulfilling and best of all it makes me a much better mother, wife and all round human being.

  64. arbi says

    u know i think u need to be there for ur kids esp when they r young like atleast 3 once they start goin school wat a women is left to do…i mean in this society u just canty rely on ur husband earning and then wat if u both get divoced wat is left wid u ..u have noo career no husabnd…eventually ur kids are goin to have their own activities they wudnt wanna invole u in that..i have a great example of my cousin who just stayed a housewife for 17 yrs every day cooking and cleaning and raision her kids …now as her kids are all grown up she has nothing to do ..they come baq from school lock them up in their room and r busy in their lives and her husband comes at 6 from his job ..and hes too tired to even talk to her or even show her love wat did she get in the end ..i dont agree completly that u shud stop ur life forever to raise kids i have great examples in my life of women who were working anf raised wonderful kids.

  65. Jenn says

    I am a stay-at-home mom to six children, who are homeschooled and I run a small at-home business selling toys and goods online. It’s the best of both worlds. I can be with my children daily, teach them my values and work at night after they go to sleep. It’s not a huge income, but it has afforded us many vacations, gifts at christmas, paid off debt and more, without sacrificing being away and unavailable.

  66. SusanJD says

    Being a stay at home mom IS THE SUPERIOR CHOICE, PERIOD! Make a choice: full time motherhood or full time career, you cannot have equal of both. One thing will be sacrificed, in today’s world, it is almost always your children’s well being.

  67. Cindy says

    I cannot stand Dr. Laura. None of what she says is realistic. I am a single parent who must work, I have no choice. I think it’s really mean what people are saying about single parents. People don’t go into a marriage wanting and expecting it to fail, but when it does someone becomes a single parent. It’s not done on purpose and I resent the comments people make. My son is 19 years old, a very smart, well-adjusted, motivated, educated and kind young man…thanks to me, a single working parent. Plus, I think it’s good for kids to be with their peers and have influence from other adults. It gives them different perspectives on how to behave in society…

  68. Granny says

    I was a stay at home mom with my first two until they started school. But after going to work we suprisingly had a third. I kept working.

    Advantage, my kids benefited from the money (violin, pianoa, dance, extra vacations, nicer vacations, more in-style clothing, braces, etc) plus a happier mom.

    Afterall while they are in school my being home didn’t add one thing to their lives. Later my extra income paid for their colleges without them having to work or take out student loans.

    Result, three happy productive adults who have yet to complain that they felt cheated.

    Definitely working is a case by case call which has to be invidiually decided. For some it works while for others not.

  69. Michelle says

    I don’t think she is a hypocrite at all. She has experienced both sides and found what “worked” for her and her family. I have always worked (I am not an executive)…my son is graduating from high school this year. I missed out on so many things and so did he. Is he a bad kid because of it…thank god he is a good kid. He has two parents that worked and commuted his whole life. We have loved him unconditionally and have done the best that we could do. I still beat up on myself but truly feel there was no other way that we could have done it any differently. What I don’t appreciate is the opposite side of the coin… stay at home moms who make us who have to work feel inadequate as working parents. I love my son just as much as you love your children regardless of having to work or not.

  70. SLN is a laughing stock says

    Yes, the other girl hit the head right on the nail….the single mother is single due to a divorce – surprise surprise. It is a lot easier to walk away than to stick it through, thus your lack of commitment to anything, even parenthood.

    As far as the question posed about professional women, wasn’t it stated before that working women are fine, as long as they don’t have children to raise? If you have children, I don’t care what your profession, postpone it until after you raise your children. If you can’t then don’t reproduce!!!!!

    Women (I can’t stand to call them mothers because they are not REAL mothers) who happend to have birthed children and now work are poor execuses of parents. I wish all employers would not allow women with children to work, PERIOD!

  71. Trisha says

    I’m really shocked at how nasty some of these comments are…really shocked that women who have children can treat each other so badly and say such hurtful things. Why can’t we celebrate our differences, be thankful for the choices that we EACH have made and celebrate the fact that we are all doing the best we can in raising our children in such a difficult society. There are benefits to both sides of this and I think such harsh words should be kept to yourself. As my mother always said, if you don’t have anything nice to say…then don’t say it! By the way, I do have two children…I’ve been a SAHM, a part-time working mother and now work full-time as well as have my own side business…my kids are very well educated, well behaved and are raised in a christian based home. We are doing just fine as I believe almost every one of these individuals who have commented on here are probably doing the same….we’re all doing the best we can while doing the hardest job in the world. Give yourself a pat on the back instead of bringing each other down…we deserve it!

  72. SLN says

    SbK, thank you for your words of support. I am a single mom due to divorce. My daughter is very fortunate to have two very involved parents. But all moms, stay at home or working, deserve respect and admiration. We all do what we feel is best for our children and our lifes. It is unfortunate that some people choose to be judgemental and try to impose their opinions on others. But, everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how ill informed they may be.

  73. SbK says

    I agree with Sue, and it just goes to show that all of these “SAHM’s” who are slating all us working mothers that staying at home to look after the children all day every day is making them into some sort of crazed woman who judges people whom they know nothing about. I live with my boyfriend- my daughters father, and yet I still have to work, to pay the bills, and also to remain sane.
    And as for being nasty to the single mum on here, do you know anything about her situation?? Her partner might have left her, in which case she probably couldn’t do anything about it. I know this as I have also been in this situation. Not all of us live lives where our husbands/partners have well paid jobs and can pay for everything for us.
    I’d say stop being so nasty and judgmental and appreciate the fact that everyone is different and thus this is what makes the world so colourful and diverse.

  74. hmmm says

    Open question to all those SAHMs

    How many of your OB/GYN doctors are female? And are they all single women with no children? What about your preschool teachers – not many men in that field, right? Or your kindergarten or elementary teachers – how many are female? How about your hairstylist – any working women there? How about the cashier at your grocery store or your bank teller – possibly a working mom…

    I ask because for all you SAHMs who put down working women, how would your world differ if these WORKING women simply didn’t work! Hypocrites!!! You probably say they will be filled by men, sorry, not enough men to fill every spot even in this economy.

    Working women, like men, do contribute to society every now and then. Any time you want to jump in and carry your share of the humanity lode, go right ahead.

  75. Nicole says

    #19- Isn’t it funny how we see our own faults in other people? Quit being so anal about people’s typing skills. you obviously understand it, otherwise why would you respond back? Quit being such a b!tch.

  76. SLN needs to go back to school says

    SLN, I hope you are leaving your daughter’s education up to the public school system because obviously education is “somethiong” you lack.

    Go back to typing and answering phones. God knows that is almost as easy as it was for you to lay with your legs spread and get knocked up.

  77. babyrazzi junkie says

    I am proud to be a stay at home mom! There is nothing more special than getting to see all the big and little milestones first hand rather than hearing about them from a babysitter. I agree with Dr. Laura and admire her for taking a stand on all kinds of contraversial subjects.

  78. anti says

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt.

    Motherhood is the hardest job you’ll ever love and it’s the most selfless act of humanity there is. I’ve never worried about getting shown “respect” as a mother or being “praised” for raising my children; I just do the best I can each day.

    Stop allowing this hypocritical and insecure woman to pit us against each other. Remember, at the end of the day, she’s just trying to sell her book, at your expense.

  79. Only good mom is a SAHM says

    While all of you _hard working_ moms are stuck behind a desk, I’m going to go outside, enjoy the 70 degree weather and play with my kids.

    Now who’s missing out?

    PS #14 you are a pathetic excuse for a parent. If you are a single mom, how do you expect to be a good role model for your daughter. When she comes home knocked up and strung out at age 14, don’t cry because I told you so.

  80. SLN says

    #10, I am a single parent and am not a “poor excuse for a parent”. My daughter is sweet, loving, independent and highly intelligent. I work because I have to but also because I enjoy working. I also admire women that choose to stay at home. Perhaps if we could each respect one another’s opinion and not be so judgemental society as a whole would benefit. A Mom is a Mom, no matter if she works outside of the home or not.

  81. SAHMs rule says

    Staying at home with children does not mean that you can’t have other things. Sue, do you get monthly spa days? I do, and I stay at home. I get many extras that I enjoy outside of my child-raising responsibilities. Children are not the only reason one exists. However, when you choose to have children it is your primary duty to raise them well until they are grown. Any woman that is heartless and says that anything (including themselves) should come before their children should not be mothers.

    I love raising my children and am very happy and lucky that I have a hard-working spouse that affords me this luxury.

  82. sue says

    What a bunch of judgemental women! If staying home for you works, then stay home! Do not judge other women! A woman can have both. Just because you have kids does not mean that you cannot have a life outside of work. And sorry, but it is pathetic to act like once you have kids that they are the ONLY reason for your very existence. And working is NOT just about money. It is about self-fulfillment, happiness, satisfaction that SHOCKER! can not just come from just raising kids. A woman who judges another woman for working is the most vile creature there is and is the exact type of person that creates undue stress on women when they get together. There is a huge difference between a woman and MAN (yes, these type of women ALWAYS let the man of the hook) working 24/7 and a man or woman working for their enjoyment and then also having plenty of time for the kids.

  83. SAHM says

    I agree that if you have the choice to stay home that you owe it to your children to do so. I would agree that most mom’s don’t THINK they can afford to stay home but really they can.

    Besides, what are these mom’s working for? To pay an expensive mortgage, a car note, brand name clothing? Seriously, what does that all mean? I grew up in a home with working parents. I was so disappointed when my mom couldn’t come to events and other things.

    For some reason it seems as if SAHMs get little respect for the sacrifices they give to stay home. I love staying home with my kiddies.

  84. what a joke says

    #9 is a liar. Any working mom does not truly have a flexible schedule. So your telling us that, no matter what, work can always be put off? Not a chance.

    If you like what you do for a career, then perhaps you shouldn’t have become knocked up.

    If you’re a single mom, then I still blame you. Unless your spouse is dead, then there’s no excuse for a couple to not be together and the mother to stay home.

    You’re just a poor excuse of a parent!

  85. Yecenia says

    Just another book to make a working mom feel bad. Some women have to work. With that said, I am a working mother. I only have one child and I don’t feel I missed out on any of the important milestones. I have an extremely flexible job that pays well. I enjoy what I do and can still be there for my son at any time. I don’t feel he is lacking anything from our relationship.

  86. test the theory says

    I’ve been on both sides and I completely agree that a woman should stay home and raise her children.

    I worked with my middle child and reluctantly put two children in daycare part time. I noticed how much less my two were exceling. They were also getting sick so much more.

    I am so glad I decided that my children were a higher priority than my career. Any mother who can afford to stay home is just selfish for not doing so. It is a woman’s choice to have children. Once a woman does, it is her responsibility to care for her children – not to work so she can afford material things.

    I challenge any of you “moms” that are not single to debate with me that you can’t afford to stay home.

  87. Jello says

    I LOVE DR. Laura! She is so right on and I have ready many of her books that have changed my life! Especially…”The Proper Care and Feeding of Men”. She is so gifted and brave. I will forever be a huge fan of hers and support her completely. You go Dr. Laura!!

  88. Melanie says

    I think Dr. Laura is GREAT! Someone needed to start saying this. Our society has encouraged, yes pushed, women to get back into the work field and neglect the most important job she could ever have, mothering. A mother is not just a title to someone who gave you birth, it’s the woman who cares, nurtures, raises her children and that can be done a whole lot better when you are actually home to do so. I love staying home and wouldn’t go back to my career of banking for the world! Thanks so much for posting this article!!!

  89. sue says

    It simply comes down to this: a child needs a happy, healthy, productive, sane and self-fulfilled mother. A child does not need a mother who is depresssed, angry, resentful and unhappy. If staying at home full-time makes a mother feel like the former, than that is what she should do. If working makes a mother feel like the former, than that is what she should do. Nothing is worse for a child than a miserable and bitter mother. There are no set rules. A child rather see his mother less than see her in a miserable state more. My mother worked and she was that much happier for it. She was a happier mother, a more caring mother, and a mother who was not resentful. Women should not listen to others; they should listen to themselves.

  90. Meg says

    Complete and utter nonsense. Women SHOULD work. I don’t see how a woman can be fulfilled with changing diapers and being a housekeeper all day. If women want power, they have to work.

  91. kim says

    How about she writes another book praising working mothers!!! ALL mothers should be praised. I can’t stand this lady.

  92. sil says

    Idiot. that is all I can say about this clueless nutcase of a woman and anyone who subscribes to her stupidity.

  93. mslewis says

    I was going to start this comment with the word “hypocrite” but Nicole said it already. So, I’ll just say this . . . If any woman on this earth pays any attention to this crazy a$$ woman, they deserve to be depressed!!! I despise women like her who work at their careers until they are close to middle age and then decide they are “missing something” so they decide to have a baby. Then, they become “experts” on everything!!! This woman is an idiot!! That’s all I have to say!!!

    Most women HAVE to work. It’s not a hobby. They have to work in order for their family to eat, especially these days. Yes, there are women who have a choice and choose to work rather than stay home. That’s a good thing. There are also women who choose to stay home. That’s okay too. There is no need to write a book about it. Nobody is criticizing either choice. This woman needs to get real!! This is the 21st century and she appears to be living back in the 80s when this was a “problem” for some people.

  94. nicole in paris says

    Who doesn’t want to support mothers – on the other hand, she makes it sound like the entire society abhors women who don’t work…. I know that notion helps sell books like these, but c’mon – who really hates stay at home moms?

    It is all about choice, some women are just fulfilled spending all entire day managing the home and some men would prefer to do it.

    Dr. Laura has turned against women (and men) – even though she says she supports them. She only supports the ones who are living out her CURRENT particular vision of acceptable. EVEN THOUGH she herself was a successful child-free woman until age 35… hypocrite!


  1. […] In Praise Of Stay-At-Home Moms – Dr. Laura Schlessinger just released her 16th book, “In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms,” in which she unapologetically urges mothers to remain at home instead of juggle a career and motherhood. Dr. Laura, 62, recently spoke to The Wall Street Journal … […]

  2. […] Dr. Laura Schlessinger: Dr. Laura is a huge (by which we mean outspoken) supporter of stay-at-home moms, and while she juggled her emerging career with attending to her family, she did choose home life over work. Dr. Laura stayed home while her son Deryk was very young and limited her radio show hours when he went to kindergarten. Schlessinger believes that all moms should stay home for at least the first three years after a child is born, and then "after that, flip a coin." […]

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