Nicole Kidman Opens Up About Miscarriage

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman reveals a side seldom seen – lonely on the night she won her Oscar, and enigmatic when it comes to recounting her attempts to bear a child with Tom Cruise.

“From the minute Tom and I were married, I wanted to have babies,” Nicole, 40 (and 22 when she met Tom), tells Vanity Fair for its October issue. “And we lost a baby early on, so that was really very traumatic. And that’s when we would adopt daughter Bella,” now 14.

In the interview, Nicole is described as cryptic when she goes on to say, “There’s a complicated background to that, given that I never speak much about many things. One day maybe that story will be told.”

Two years later, the Tom and Nicole (who were to divorce in 2001, after nearly 10 years of marriage) adopted son Connor, now 12.

Asked how it felt when she won her 2003 Best Actress Academy Award, for The Hours, Nicole (interviewed in her Sydney home, while she and costar Hugh Jackman are shooting Australia) says, “It felt big. It felt lonely and big. You’re in a hotel and you’re like, okay well, I’m sitting in this big suite with an Oscar, and I still don’t have a life. What is wrong with me? It hit home that I needed to get a life. Who do I jump on the bed with, and celebrate with, and order pancakes with?”

She adds, “That was painful, not having that person to share it with. That’s why it was more for my mom and dad and my kids. But even the kids were young enough that they were like, ‘Oh, cool. Over. Move on. Not interested.’ ”

It was not until a 2005 Australian promotional event in Los Angeles that she met country star – and Queensland native – Keith Urban. “I think we were two lonely people. I would probably say that two very lonely people managed to meet at a time when they could open themselves to each other,” she says. “We were a mixture of frightened and brave.”

They married on June 25, 2006; four months later, he was in rehab.

“It was just another twist in my life: Here it goes. Hold on, and off we go!” she says of Keith’s treatment. “But it was very painful, deeply painful. We were in a very, very, very bad, painful place, and have managed to step through it, and I hope that gives some people some hope who may be in the same place. And that’s enough said. Anything else is overindulgent and unnecessary right now. And I think it jinxes it, in a way, and that’s why I don’t go on about my enormous feelings for this man.”

Still, Nicole – who admits she’s “yearning” to give birth, and that Keith “has been getting there slowly” – also says, “I’ve learned an enormous amount having a relationship with someone who is in recovery. I’m more than willing to walk it with him. The two of us are very committed to our relationship.”



  1. DMITZ says

    #35 – why would Suri need to be placed in a better home? Even if for one minute I believe that crap about Tom not being Suri’s father, it still doesn’t mean they don’t love her or take care of her.

    Get your head out of your @$$.

  2. obnoxious spice says

    haha….yeah ok, here we go – if someone disagree’s they MUST be libra…..well, whatever… i am NOT her, although i DO happen to agree with her on a lot of issues, though i notice she doesn’t bother commenting here anymore…

    if we want to go onto these kind of multi-poster theories – that must mean that orianna is ALSO libraesque as she isn’t commenting lately either….

    back to the subject at hand – why would ‘god’s’ wishes as to whether tom/nicole could have children matter to either of them anyways…at that stage in their marriage NEITHER of them believed in god did they??!!

    and to this day tom still doesn’t….or is that the reason according to your way of thinking…god was punishing them for being non-believers by not allowing them to conceive….aahhh…ok…i see now…

    ok, awaiting your foul mouthed ranting reply….should be amusing!!

  3. KatiesTruthMeter says

    he MAY have fathered a child with nicole. no way did he with katie. some day you all will find out the truth. poor suri. if only she, jayden and sean could be put in better homes. and katie put in the psych home where she belongs.

  4. Hana says

    Was surprised to learn that she had lost a baby so early in her marriage.
    After all the gossip about Cruise not being able to make babies for so many years…i have a new respect for him. I am sure he wanted to say something but never did.

  5. sandy says

    #32, I do agree with you, it has been apparent to me for a long time lurking, that LIbraesque is Obnox Spice, I try too just overlook both of their postings, too disgusting and low class!

  6. says

    Thank you Jen, I know that is LIBRAB*TCH!

    26) You didn’t have to say sh*t directed towards me, I said my OPINION, and your DUMB@ss had a problem with my comment…Don’t try to play those P@ssy games with me! I can say what I feel, and Obviously some other people agreed with me…GO find Shadow scum, and play tag with her..B*TCH! Thank you!

  7. Jane says

    Finally! I always knew she had at least two miscarriages during her marriage with Tom.
    This is prime example of how we really just guess and gossip at so much. People thought Tom was sterile, but look he had Suri and there’s no doubt she’s his biological child, too many facial similarities and now we hear from Nicole it looks like she is the one with fertility problems, especially in carrying to term. I guess the rumours started about Tom when he and Nicole chose to bring Isabella and Connor into their family, and no biological children. I always thought it was Nicole who couldn’t have children.

    If she is serious about having a baby she should start straight away before her biological clock clicks in, unless she has her eggs frozen or from a donor and they can always choose sergeant mother…I hope she gets her wish.

  8. Elsa says

    I’m a big Urban fan, so I hope for the best for both of them. I think he is not into having a baby yet because he just got out of reahb…so it’s probably sound thinking that he does not want to rush into being a Dad. But it is true, she’s 40, she seems to have had problems w/ fertility in the past, time is a waisting.

    If Nicole was engaged between Tom/Keith, she may be the type of woman that “needs” a man to hang onto. So maybe she married too quickly? Who knows.

    I always wondered why she and Tom divorced. It always seemed so cryptic.

  9. Sharon says

    Quite a sad article really. It doesn’t seem like her marriage to Urban is all that promising. He doesn’t sound like he’s particularly keen on children, and she feely admits that they were both “very lonely” when they came together. Not a great recipie for a healthy marriage.

  10. obnoxious spice says

    actually zoe – i said that i truly NEVER hoped you would suffer that kind of pain…it is obvious that it isn’t ME that is the stupid one, if you can’t even read a comment properly…

    MY opinion is simply that – MY opinion

    you sound very agressive and argumentative and i have no desire to get involved in some kind of nasty argument with a person who throws out such flippant comments on such a sensitive issue and insults and abuses others whilst doing so

    i noticed you merely focused on one aspect of my comments and not the full posts…

    where do you get that it was implied that it was ‘tom’s fault’ anyway??? and how do you know that tom can actually produce sperm??

    do you know what, don’t bother replying – it is obvious it will only be abusive, nasty and foul comments anyway – not interested in reading crap like that…

  11. sandy says

    I like Nicole and I think she could do better than Keith. I do believe she got pregnant by Tom and I feel so bad she lost her baby. I want her to be happy and I think she is a good mother too.

  12. Christy says

    As a double miscarriage survivor myself, the irony for Nicole is so sad and profound. The “right” man Tom gets her pregnant only to miscarry. Then at 37 she is divorced and meets the hopefully truly right man and time is not completely on her side for a baby really. He needs time to heal himself and that costs her 3 more years in baby making terms. I feel her pain and concern and glad she is sharing it. But her luck making kids has not been as good as I am sure she had hoped. So glad she has the adopted kids, what a beautiful silver lining! A great deal of these women, Aniston, Lopez and even Hallie Berry until just recently are finding themselves on the short end of fertile time and as a woman who has been there, it can be scary…

  13. says


    First of all Thank you Martha for having my back on this issue, and all of the posters that felt the same way, THANK YOU very much!

    Alrighty (Resuming) What is your name??????? AH yes, Obnoxious spice, well HOW Obnoxious are you, to get ofended over a comment, that is TRUE! It is millions of women that lose children everyday, every hour, every minute! That is reality! It was never meant for Nicloe to have kids by tom cruise..God did not want that! She adopted, and that is what GOD wanted! GET REAL!
    I personally don’t care about the pain that you want me to suffer, you are just as ignorant as Shadow girl, and the others..I don’t know you, and I would never wish pain on you…STUPID ONE!

    And you must of took it personal when I said NUTBAG..maybe because you are one..I am just stating…Take that how you want it! And I have a song for you behind my name..FEEL FREE TO COMMENT! Thank you! nutbag!

  14. Jodie says

    i find it odd that they would chose to adopt after one early miscarriage early on in the marriage tbh. she did say in the full article, that one day the story of why they had to adopt would be told.

    i think there is more to this than meets the eye.

    i still believe tc to be sterile. but she also has ferility problems imo or else she would have had a biological child by now.

  15. obnoxious spice says

    ok then martha, perhaps – though i still stand by my opinion that comments like that are narrowminded AND offensive, and just for the record, i don’t think nicole meant HER comments to ‘blame’ or lay ‘fault’ at tom for her miscarriage’s…i think she herself said them in good faith

    signing off a comment calling (rather – screaming actually) others ‘nutbags’ really tells me all i need to know about a poster

  16. Laura says

    wow, very sad. I’m sure it must have hurt both Tom and Nicole so bad and to top it all off they had to put up with so much rumors about their private life. I’m glad they’re both happy now with their respective partners and I hope Nicole will finally have the baby she wants so badly.

  17. Martha says

    Obnoxious Spice I don’t think #3 meant it the way you are taking that comment. She meant it in good faith.

  18. obnoxious spice says

    ‘god didn’t see fit for her to have a baby’????!!!
    what a disgusting comment….
    i hope to god you never suffer the pain and anguish of a miscarriage only to have some smug know it all throw a comment like that back in YOUR face…
    to trivialize something as significant as what she has suffered is ignorant, nasty and just offensive…
    and as for then ending with ‘tom can produce sperm’ – how naive!! have you not heard of ivf, sperm donors etc…i am not saying that that is how suri was conceived – but hey – how the hell do ANY of us know for sure??

  19. Jan says

    #3. Zoe , well said!

    “Nicole – who admits she’s “yearning” to give birth, and that Keith “has been getting there slowly” ”

    I wish Nicole all he best but I just wanted to say what is Keith waiting for? she is 40.

  20. H says

    Very sad! I think the complicated background she is talking about is, she reportedly had an ectopic pregnancy, and was hospitalized for removal of scar tissue. The news she miscarried isn’t actually new, it has been reported before she suffered an ectopic pregnancy, a miscarriage and infertility problems, but it was never confirmed.
    I hope she’ll eventually have the biological baby she wants so badly.

  21. yummy says

    I need a translator for #3.

    I often wonder why we don’t see more pics of Tom or Nicole with their kids. I don’t really ever remember seeing any of them together when they were younger. Maybe they are just good at keeping them out of the public spotlight. I assume they live in Australia with Nicole?

  22. Elsa says

    They used to look so in love. I was surprised when they divorced. I’m glad for both of them that they seem happy in their new marriages.

    I think Tom has been wacky in recent years w/ his Scientology crap – but if Brooke can forgive him, why can’t we? And Suri is ADORABLE.

  23. Martha says

    Oh no… I can just smell Shadow Girl and Miapocca. They are ready to tear this thread apart.

    Let’s take a vote, all in favor of ignoring ALL of Shadow and Mia’s posts say “I”….!!!

  24. sushmita says

    i hope Nicole and Kieth would have a baby soon…i think after all the sad moments in her life she deserves to be happy with Kieth of course !!!! and hopefully a newborn baby for them to bind stronger.

  25. Kate says

    Wow, I can’t imagine experiencing the loss of a child. My thoughts are with them during this sad time.

  26. tam says

    Now that I see this.. i remember all the times people would say tom was infertile and gay so he couldnt have kids.. god gossip is ridiculous

  27. says

    OH oh this thread is just asking for Arguement!

    I know! Anyway..This is what I feel about this!

    If she lost her babies…IT IS NOT TOM’S fault, GOD didn’t

    See fit for her to have a baby, naturally, It was not meant to
    Just Look at Nicole.Behind my name! HOTTTTTTTT!! BAKING!
    be! It however was meant for TOM to have a baby with is

    current wife, KATIE HOLMES! HOPEFULLY Nicole can

    have a baby with Keith Urban! That is why she did that

    provactive cover, she Just bared her all, that was good

    for her! NO SCIENTOLOGY theories..OK..TOM can

    produce sperm…NUTBAGS!

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